Wedding Wednesday
Comments 8

The Perfect Engagement Length

how long should you be engaged

When you get engaged there are lots of lists for you to look at – what to do in the first days of getting engaged, timelines for booking vendors, questions for all of your vendors etc. But one question that often gets swept under the rug is, “how long should we be engaged?”

how long should you be engaged

For some people this is a really simple question, but for others it is a little more hazy. A few examples of the ranges that engagements can take are (there are so many!):

I have a bestfriend that will be getting married in January, 2016 after getting engaged this summer.

I have a cousin who got engaged at the start of this summer and is getting married in 2017.

It seems like on average, engagements are around one year. This is why a lot of the lists you see for wedding planning start at the 12 month mark. But have no fear, there are lists that are created for shorter and longer engagement periods as well (thank you Pinterest!).

Carson and I are currently in the second month of our engagement and our wedding is 8 months away. We will be engaged for a total of 10 months before getting married. Why did we choose 10 months? Let me walk you through the process.

It started with my favorite season, which I think is a good place for everyone to start. Spring has always been mine and I also didn’t want to interfere with any holidays – notably Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I wasn’t about to make people choose between celebrating their parents and celebrating our marriage! I was afraid that June would be too warm towards the middle/end and my mom was concerned that the end of May might still be rainy and/or chilly so we landed on the first weekend of June!

Now, after choosing the month the next question was…do we want a longer or shorter engagement? That is the big question. Often times there will be outside factors that constrain your choices such as work, school, or family obligations. I will hopefully be attending graduate school starting in the fall of 2016. It wouldn’t be ideal, in my opinion, to be planning a wedding while just starting to figure out graduate school. Carson has also always prefered shorter engagements because in his opinions, “why wait?” You’ve made the decision to spend the rest of your lives together by getting engaged together, and I hope you’re excited to get that underway as soon as possible!

However, there is also something to be said for a longer engagement. It definitely gives you more time to enjoy this special time with your fiancee and also gives you more time for every aspect of planning which means that you might avoid stress that you would otherwise run into in a shorter engagement. This option also allows the couple and their parents (if applicable) to save some more money so that the wedding is less (or not at all) a financial burden at any point.

So to sum up, the perfect engagement length depends on the couple and what their desires are! There is no right or wrong answer but you should feel comfortable and happy with your decision.

I hope this helped you to get a better idea of how long your engagement should be and if you already have chosen – what led you to your decision? I’d love to hear from you!

Linking up with Macy and Nikki for Wedding Wednesday!

To Travel and Beyond

8 Comments

  1. I love your explanation as to why you guys chose a shorter engagement. I think it is totally dependent on the couple. We got engaged in May of 2015 and knew we wanted a summer 2016 wedding, May is colder in Chicago, June was out for various other reasons…so July just happened to be the perfect month to choose!

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    • Thank you! I feel like the decision often just kind of comes to you due to all of the various reasons you mentioned – at least that’s one thing off the to-do list πŸ˜‰

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  2. I’m the awesome cousin who got engaged April of this year and am waiting until Fall 2017. Live Sveta, the season played a huge role. I knew I wanted fall, September was our ideal. So I could have done Sept 2015, 2016 or 2017. Our financials said that 2015 was out so we were down to 2016 or 2017. I wanted as little stress as possible with both the planning and the finances. I also didn’t want to be limited in choice. Because we chose 2017, we had our pick of dates at the venue we chose. I also got the DJ and Photographer at 2016 prices. Now I have nothing to plan until next year when I do the dress and the flowers. So I’m totally content with my slow and steady pace, even if I constantly hear different versions of: 2017? Don’t you mean 2016? Oh, well I guess it’s nice to have a long engagement. Great post! I’m interested to see what other people have done!

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    • Love it! I think it is so great that you get to relax so much more in between all of the choices. I’m getting a little overwhelmed already haha

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  3. I was engaged for almost exactly a year. I originally wanted a winter wedding, but ended up changing my mind for a few reasons and one of them being I wanted more than a 4 month engagement but not a 16 month one! We ended up the first weekend in August because that was the only date our venue had open and it was perfect! One year was plenty of time and having any more time would have probably driven me crazy!

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  4. Anonymous says

    We got engaged in July 2014 and were married in Aug 2015! I actually finished grad school in July 2015 and it was definitely tough planning both!

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