When you get engaged there are lots of lists for you to look at – what to do in the first days of getting engaged, timelines for booking vendors, questions for all of your vendors etc. But one question that often gets swept under the rug is, “how long should we be engaged?”
For some people this is a really simple question, but for others it is a little more hazy. A few examples of the ranges that engagements can take are (there are so many!):
I have a bestfriend that will be getting married in January, 2016 after getting engaged this summer.
I have a cousin who got engaged at the start of this summer and is getting married in 2017.
It seems like on average, engagements are around one year. This is why a lot of the lists you see for wedding planning start at the 12 month mark. But have no fear, there are lists that are created for shorter and longer engagement periods as well (thank you Pinterest!).
Carson and I are currently in the second month of our engagement and our wedding is 8 months away. We will be engaged for a total of 10 months before getting married. Why did we choose 10 months? Let me walk you through the process.
It started with my favorite season, which I think is a good place for everyone to start. Spring has always been mine and I also didn’t want to interfere with any holidays – notably Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I wasn’t about to make people choose between celebrating their parents and celebrating our marriage! I was afraid that June would be too warm towards the middle/end and my mom was concerned that the end of May might still be rainy and/or chilly so we landed on the first weekend of June!
Now, after choosing the month the next question was…do we want a longer or shorter engagement? That is the big question. Often times there will be outside factors that constrain your choices such as work, school, or family obligations. I will hopefully be attending graduate school starting in the fall of 2016. It wouldn’t be ideal, in my opinion, to be planning a wedding while just starting to figure out graduate school. Carson has also always prefered shorter engagements because in his opinions, “why wait?” You’ve made the decision to spend the rest of your lives together by getting engaged together, and I hope you’re excited to get that underway as soon as possible!
However, there is also something to be said for a longer engagement. It definitely gives you more time to enjoy this special time with your fiancee and also gives you more time for every aspect of planning which means that you might avoid stress that you would otherwise run into in a shorter engagement. This option also allows the couple and their parents (if applicable) to save some more money so that the wedding is less (or not at all) a financial burden at any point.
So to sum up, the perfect engagement length depends on the couple and what their desires are! There is no right or wrong answer but you should feel comfortable and happy with your decision.
I hope this helped you to get a better idea of how long your engagement should be and if you already have chosen – what led you to your decision? I’d love to hear from you!